Listening Skills for Relationship Building
One of our facilitators likes to say, “What you listen for is what you hear.” Often we focus on listening for a problem, so we can solve it, pat ourselves on the back, and move on. Here’s an approach to listening that will help you focus on building relationships instead of finding problems.
My New Year’s PRESolution from earlier this month was to listen more effectively and to focus on the subtext behind the words. I think I’m doing OK so far (ask my colleagues!) but I still need to remind myself before every interaction. Listening is not easy…it is a discipline that must be practiced.
One of our facilitators likes to say, “What you listen for is what you hear.” Often we focus on listening for a problem, so we can solve it, pat ourselves on the back, and move on. Here’s an approach to listening that will help you focus on building relationships instead of finding problems.
Listening Exercise for Relationship Building
Next time someone comes into your office for a conversation, try to listen for the following:
- What moves or touches you: What is he saying that moves or touches you? What, in particular, are you responding to emotionally, from your own experience?
- Values and strengths: What personal strengths or positive qualities are implicit in what she is saying or how she is saying it?
Afterward, reflect on how this listening affected the quality of your interaction. Did it change the experience for you? Do you think it might have had an impact on your relationship with this person?
