The Quiet Leader
The terms introversion and extroversion, originally made popular by psychologist Carl Jung, have now become common terms in describing our innate human tendencies to gravitate, respectively, towards seeking time alone or seeking the company of others.
Several years ago I found myself sweating in a hotel conference room with perfect climate control. It wasn’t the temperature…it was my growing feeling that the ten executives in front of me were not buying what I was trying to sell them.
I was one hour into leading a day-long training program on the topic of leadership presence. Something was not working. The room was too quiet. When I asked a question, the pauses were too long before anyone answered. No one was making eye contact. The group, as I perceived it, was polite, but not engaged.
During a break, I pulled my colleague aside, who had been observing the program.
“What’s wrong?” I asked her.
She made a simple but profound comment.
“Chris,” she said, “Nothing’s wrong. They are deeply engaged in the material. You, however, are not reading the room accurately. I think what’s going on is that every member of this group today happens to be an introvert. And you are expecting them to react to your presentation as if they were extroverts.”
Leader is not synonymous with extrovert
In the last several years there has been a renewed interest in the overlooked value of the introverted leader. We have seen a quiet explosion (pun intended) of books on the topic, including Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain (2012), The Introvert’s Guide to Success and Leadership in Business by Lisa Petrilli (2011), and Self-Promotion for Introverts by Nancy Ancowitz (2009).
The terms introversion and extroversion, originally made popular by psychologist Carl Jung, have now become common terms in describing our innate human tendencies to gravitate, respectively, towards seeking time alone or seeking the company of others.
There is a common misperception that leadership presence is a quality that resides in the domain of extroversion, and that those who are natural introverts should just “get with program” and simply learn to be more extroverted. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Leadership is fundamentally about earning and sustaining the trust that will allow us to influence and guide those who turn to us for direction. It is, therefore, essential that we communicate authentically. If, as some research indicates, an estimated 1/3 of people in the world are natural introverts, it is important that their presence reflect who they really are.
What did I learn? As I returned to the classroom that day I changed my expectations of the group. I remembered some basic qualities of introversion:
- thinking carefully before speaking
- a preference for one-on-one interactions rather than presenting in front of large groups
- the ability to ask thoughtful questions and to listen carefully in response
- most importantly, a frustration with settings that demand an extroverted approach to communication.
By the end of the day the room was much more animated and engaged. Why? Not because the introverts became extroverted. Rather, because I stopped seeing the world through my own extroverted expectations.
Are you an introvert working to convey an authentic leadership presence? How do you balance the need to remain authentic with the need to be approachable and inspiring as a leader?
This blog was originally published June 21, 2012 and was updated June 19, 2018 for accuracy.
